Discovering the Tree
So, what's "finding your tree?" It started as an inside joke for my friends and me. We have a friend who, for lack of a better term, doesn't care about anything other than his family or personal health. He's a man who has always just seemed like a monk moving through the world.
The origin of the tree metaphor is hazy, as inside jokes often are. They spring from a random set of words and moments that feel like a lifetime ago. Yet, this simple phrase has become a mantra for me—a reminder to focus on my tree.
The Career Grind
I've worked in the tech industry for over a decade. I was fortunate enough to meet an extraordinary mentor who opened doors typically shut tight, doors through which light barely seeped for a young black father aiming to give his daughter a better life than he had.
So, what did that young Black father do for the next 10-plus years? He ground away, tore that door off its hinges, and kept moving forward with everything he had. Nights were spent hacking away, aiming to please bosses and climb the corporate ladder—all to build a better life for his wife and daughter. Then, before he knew it, his little girl was 12, with two other extraordinary siblings growing alongside her. He did it, right? Her life is amazing, but he notices how much was spent without him…
Finding Balance
My tree is simple: It's them. It's taking care of my spiritual and mental state. It's understanding that the only thing that truly matters in this brief time we have is to love them so deeply that when I'm gone, the imprint of my love remains visible throughout their lives and in those they love.
The Doctor: We're all dead eventually. There's hardly any time that we're not dead. Which is a good thing too. We've got to keep the pace up; otherwise, nothing would get done. Dying defines us. Snow isn't snow until it falls.
Ruby Sunday: Snow...?
The Doctor: Yeah, snow. We all melt away in the end. But something stays. Maybe the best part. A sad old man once told me what survives of us is love.
Finding your tree is what brings you peace. It's where you find your true happiness, where you can give and receive love. For too long, I was consumed by my career, developing an unhealthy balance. My friend's focus on his tree inspired me to focus on my own.
Until tomorrow,
John D