five bits of joy

words written in 30 minutes of less or your time back guarantee

Hello Friends,

It's been more than a few weeks without a post. The overthinking I aim to avoid got tangled up with grief after losing my grandmother, and writing suddenly became this wall I couldn't climb over.

Tomorrow marks four months without her, which is bloody awful. It's a new kind of awful I didn't know existed in the human experience. You read words about grief and love—all those extraordinary emotions that make us human—but those words don't truly find you until you experience the reason they were written in the first place.

Then you get it. I mean, you really get it.

Today, I read this piece from my good friend Pete (https://substack.com/@petecybriwsky/p-167109159) where he talks about writing for a whole year and how it changed him. It's simply awesome to show up weekly and hit that post button.

So I gave myself 30 minutes to write, then hit publish. Just to get over this wall I built myself.

Five bits of joy in the sea of grief over the last four months:

1. A weekend away with my wife - How does one emerge from the depths of grief depression? Spend two days with their favorite person on earth.

   

2. My son wrote me a letter - And mailed it! All to say how thankful he was that I'm his dad. Come on now!

   

   3. The art of knowing nothing -

   Gwax does wonderful work, and this video just sat with me. It made me smile. In a time where I personally feel like I know nothing, it's cool to think art can even be found here.

   4. Last-minute beach trip - The ocean is my place. We've been going to this same beach since our 13-year-old was 3. It's filled with some of our happiest moments as a family. Following the funeral, we headed there. I won't lie—I was completely sad on the beach, but that's okay.

   

   
   5.My grandmother's funeral - For all this day was, when I think back on how much joy was packed into it, I can smile. The wonderful words from family and strangers alike. The songs she enjoyed to the fullest. It was truly a celebration of an extraordinary life.

Thanks for reading - goal weekly writing here on this publication, no matter what.

-john